love/hate relationships

After a couple weeks of convincing from my networking friend Stacy, I have started to blog. Not really, it was more like one or two text messages and she had me convinced.  

So here it is, a Texas Girl in California.  For about an hour I was set on A Texas Girl Lost in California, but I am hoping at some point I will find my way and I don’t really want to have to change the title of my blog.  Anyway, for those of you who don’t know I have moved from Dallas, Texas, my home for 22 years to California.  Left my family, friends, and entire life in Texas for a boy in California.  Now, he’s not just any boy, he has been boyfriend for over three years and to be quite honest (warning cheesy moment coming) I can’t see my life without him.  So we moved to California with our two cat children, Etta and Tonks, who on a side note LOVE this place.  Or they just love the view from our apartment.

This is in fact one of the things I love about CA, our view.  And just so you know as nice as it looks outside is exactly how nice it feels.  It’s about 75 degrees with a light breeze, and that’s a decently normal day here. I love our local farmers market, it’s indescribable.  Being the food obsessed girl that I am, Saturday morning farmers market trips are something I look forward to all week.  You can taste almost everything before you buy it.  And they have everything from strawberries and blackberries to bok choy and mushrooms, fresh eggs, fish, bread, jams, and the most amazing jalapeno fudge I have ever tasted. I know, it sounds awful, but believe me it's mind blowing.  And the thing is, if I ever get tired of my own farmers market I can go to at least 3 or 4 others all within 25 miles.  This Saturday I will take some pictures of the amazing food.  I love how easy it is to get around, there is a bus and BART station ridiculously close to us, and San Francisco is a swift 30 minute BART ride away.  I love San Francisco. Everything about it, food, people, events, FOOD, seriously, everything. And there is literally something fun and free to do every weekend.  Key word there is FREE. 

Evan and I at SF Museum of Modern Art

Food Truck Extravaganza

Brewery in the Mission

I love my apartment.  At first I wasn’t so sure. I did some pretty extreme painting, and nothing really matches, but I love it. And most importantly, it feels like home to me. Please ignore the gray swatch next to the mirror, I was testing some neutral colors before I went with the red. 

Alright, now I have done all the I loves, I can do the I hates...which is really just one thing that snowballs into a couple.  I hate that I don’t have a job. Which snowballs into I don't have a ton of my own money to spend willy nilly, nothing to do all day (except HGTV), and I don't even have girlfriends here I can meet up with so I can vicariously live through them. It really makes me feel as though I lack a bit of purpose. Clearly, after living in the same area for 22 years, change was not something I was going to adjust to very quickly.  I met with what I had hoped to be a friend a couple weeks ago (ps big fail) but she did give me one excellent piece of advice.  Make a list of things to do tomorrow so you have a reason to get up, shower, and get ready as if you are on a working schedule.  Not everything on the list has to be important or even job search related, no one can job hunt for 8 hours a day.  Luckily, we are not in a situation where I am in dire need of a job, so I can take my time to do research on each company I am applying to.  Each day I will be doing Spanish lessons for an hour and a half, (boyfriend is mexican, so it’s really something I want/need to learn), cooking something, and researching a company I am interested in working for. Todays list includes the following: 

1. Make turkey meatloaf (pictures tomorrow)
2. 1 1/2 hours of Spanish
3. Salesforce videos and research
4. Groceries
5. Call apartment complex to fix our leak
6. Cover letter for Salesforce 
7. Website stuff for my parents
8. Blog

I know one day I will never want to leave this place, and I will wonder what the hell took me so long to fall completely in love with the Bay Area. I just hope that day comes sooner rather than later, I don’t waste anymore days feeling frustrated. I am so incredibly lucky, why am I fighting it?